It's been one of those weeks. I am just so thankful it's Friday, though I'm sorry to report I'm terribly bored for a Friday night. I always make it a goal to read on nights like this, but then it seems so quiet just reading a book. I really want to go rent a movie or something, but I have no motivation to leave the house when I'm already in my pajamas.
Yes, I said pajamas. At 7:40pm. On a Friday night.
Go me.
This afternoon my friend Nikki came over and we observed how we love being "old women" together. We just sat around enjoying hot tea and blueberry muffins. How amazing is that? Just to sit and talk and enjoy each other's company. Our generation has such a hard time doing that. We always have to be doing something. As if that's going to take enough time to distract us from our mundane lives. Eventually they're going to wake up and realize that they can't go on ignoring communication forever. That's what I think it is. Texts, e-mails, facebook messages... they all make relationships and communication so much less than it actually is. Well, yesterday and today I was able to thoroughly enjoy having good relationships with friends. I need to make a habit of doing that more often...
Last night Clark and I drove to Johnson City, TN to see my dearest friend Becca as Cathy in a production of The Last Five Years. It was a heart-wrenching performance and I am SO proud of Becca. Afterwards we went out with her, her boyfriend (Jonathan), and two of their friends to Applebees and we were actually social! I was so proud of us. I even stayed up past 1am. That is insane for me... especially on a school night. I'm like a combination of a middle-schooler and an old woman most of the time. Up around six of seven and in bed between nine and eleven. Yep. I'm that bad. I can't help it. I love my sleep... and I know I can't concentrate if I don't get enough of it. This week, though, I felt like I was constantly lacking sleep.
Starting Tuesday I had some sort of bug that made me miss class. I was achy, had a low-grade fever, had a cough... all of that lovely stuff that comes with season changes. Luckily it didn't last long, though I'm still incredibly tired and have a random cough. It seems Clark and I can never stay healthy because we're constantly passing one thing back and forth and back and forth. He had it first, then I did, and now he has it again. Poor dear. Ah, well. Hopefully we'll get over it eventually. Anyway, because of being sick I rest constantly but still feel like I need more rest. Hopefully this weekend isn't too jam-packed with friends and studying for midterms, because I want as much rest as possible. Is that awful of me?
I've been feeling sluggish lately. Don't get me wrong, I have motivation-- but if I don't act on it as soon as it hits me, I lose it. It goes to sock world and I'm stuck feeling all yucky again because the motivation came and went. It's obviously nobody's fault but my own, but I can't seem to stick with it if I even hesitate just a few moments. I know... that sounds like an excuse. It feels like I'll get these waves of energy and ideas where all I want to do is be creative in some way, and if I don't sit down and write, or read, or draw, or scrapbook, or take pictures, or something at that EXACT moment... I lose it. Then, I'm stuck watching alternating re-runs of House and Reba. What I REALLY want to watch is the last season of The Tudors that just came out, but I promised Clark I'd wait for him.
I'm also ready for next week. My best friend from Michigan who I have known since age five is flying out again, Serena. She's coming the 20th and staying until Sunday (my fall break). There's also the chance that my parents and younger sister are also going to come visit. I haven't found out if they're all coming yet, but it is giving me more moments of motivation to clean. I have sadly discovered that it's 50% my fault that the house is a disaster 99% of the time. I should have realized, of course, but I'm always so focused on school, cooking, or doing something for myself that I forget about cleaning. Well, at least, the in-depth cleaning. Dusting, vacuuming, wiping down counters and all that easy stuff happens on a regular basis. Everything else, unfortunately, like cleaning out sinks or bathtubs (I know, gross) get left for some time. I don't let it get too bad, though... don't get the wrong idea. I just wish Clark would do some of the nasty work... but he only ever volunteers to do the easy stuff.
I'm so thankful we're actually having an autumn this year. It's almost throwing me off walking outside and seeing color all around me, instead of desolated trees predicting ridiculous amounts of snow in the near future. It does concern me slightly that we're under a frost advisory until Saturday night, but it may not happen. Maybe our first snow won't be until late November, or even not until December! Wouldn't that be something. I can't say I'm in a hurry for snow to get here at all, but I'm starting to get that itch for the holidays I always start to get around Halloween. I mean, I'm not big into Halloween at all, but it leads to the holiday season beginning. I say holiday season generally, meaning Thanksgiving and then Christmas time and then New Years. Halloween starts the trend, even if it's just an excuse for people to play dress up.
I promised myself I'd write today because I haven't written anything for myself in a while. Well, at least I haven't written anything that I wanted to write. I've had a serious problem lately with writer's block. I can't just sit down and think of words to rearrange and make a story out of, or make a story better with those words. No. I've just sat in front of a computer and written down mopey thoughts or nothing at all. I wish I could shake it. I just keep hoping that with a long vacation or graduation comes more motivation to really write. I know I need to take advantage of my newly renovated writing room now, since we're most likely moving in May, but I can't seem to get myself to focus because there's still so much more I want to do with it. Maybe that's just another excuse for my writer's block.
I think I'm more than two days slow.
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