Today I feel like I've accomplished a lot. I've finished the laundry, switched our bathrooms around, cleaned all of our bathrooms, vacuumed the upstairs, dusted the downstairs, make flash cards for a midterm, read a chapter for creative writing, contacted my group for theatre history, looked up slam poetry for oral interpretation, gone to the grocery store, taken Luna for a walk, done my Bible study, journaled, read my one year Bible, read a chapter out of my current "fun" read, and I still intend to vacuum the downstairs, clean the kitchen, and make ginger snaps for Clark.
Oh, yes, I'm that good.
Well, I am when I want to be. It seems I have days where I'm blessed with never ending energy and actually use it wisely. Then there are days where I'm blessed with never ending energy but I don't want to use it. Today was the first, thank goodness. I really needed it to be because I have plenty of homework/studying/personal things to take care of before fall break. I have to admit I'm the tiniest bit stressed out preparing for it, which isn't helping my school work load, but I'll get over it. I'm really hoping that I still get work done over break even though I'll have a visitor, possibly visitors. I think I'm over stressing about it right now because I still have all this cleaning to do and homework to finish and midterms to take, but I think once it's here I'll be relieved and not stressed at all... at least that's what I'm hoping.
I'm feeling a little stretched thin. Yesterday I had a wonderful afternoon/evening with my friend Nikki and we both talked about how tired we are. I feel like we're one in the same when it comes to friends and family: we do as much as possible to make them happy, even if that means sacrificing some of our personal time. I really don't mind it, today's just one of those days where I desperately wished I had mostly used it for homework and relaxation instead of cleaning and running errands. What's that quote from the 2010 Alice? "You're either too small, or too tall." I think that's how it goes... and that's how I'm feeling. I'm feeling like I'm either too busy or not busy at all... and I wish I could just have some sort of balance that would allow me to feel rested and prepared for nearly anything. It would be much better than being ordered about by "mice and rabbits."
Clark is always worried that I'm going to get restless everywhere. Like, it seems every few months or every few years or what have you I get this itch for a change. I positively crave it. It probably comes from growing up in a family that moved every few years, and then when Clark and I were first married we were moving at least once a year. I suppose that's probably it. But... I get these itches to make something different. In high school I would rearrange the furniture in my room, or cut my hair, or dye my hair, or just do something to make me feel like I did something. I know... repetitive.
Since Clark and I have been married I've done the same. First I chopped my hair off, then I pierced my nose, then we moved, then I joined a sorority, then I dyed my hair, then we got a kitten, then I dropped a sorority (when Clark was at boot camp), then we moved, then I dyed my hair, then we got a puppy, then I dyed my hair, then we painted our office, then Clark made me a desk, then I got a new scrap book, then I dyed my hair... the list goes on.
Yes, dying my hair seems to be the only thing that's pretty much consistent.
But you see what I mean? I always feel the need to make a change. I told Clark, though, I think the changes will be a lot more subtle when we finally have a home. I mean after we're done moving with the Corps and we finally pick a place to settle and buy a house and all that good stuff... then I feel like I'll be making smaller changes. Who knows. Maybe a baby (DOWN THE ROAD) will be the first to calm me, or maybe a baby will make it worse. I have no idea... but I really do believe that once we have a real home I'll be a little more relaxed. Gee... that's only who-knows-how-many-years down the road....
Well, cooking always relaxes me, so I think I'm going to go make those ginger snaps. Don't tell Clark, though. It's a surprise :)
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