In order to achieve the impossible, you must believe it possible.

As we know, I've had a rough time of it lately. I've been up and down with making decisions and breaking decisions and not wanting to make decisions at all. I've been happy and unhappy and confused and clear minded... I've just been all over the place. I've been accomplishing nothing until it's last minute and I cannot wait any longer, and ultimately I've just been a mess.

Yesterday I took a mental health day from class. I didn't have one class, and no absences in the others, so I took a day to myself. I stayed home and Clark and I completely rearranged my writing room. Yes, when I say completely I mean we ditched the cheap-o desk and the crap-o bookshelves... well... one of them. It's still a disaster area, but it's on its way to being the exact room I need to work on this and that. Along with that, though, I had moments where I was just sitting and sighing and feeling, still, like I haven't done anything with my life. "Almost Alice" turned into "Not Hardly Alice" and I began on the self-pity journey again. Not to worry, this is not another whiney blog in the making. I'm just simply pointing out the steps that led to where I am as of now.

Clark and I have been struggling lately. Not with our marriage, but with the idea that we have to give up everything because we got married young. We try to be the most upstanding and responsibile young adults, but the truth of it is that we're human and we can only continue to make mistakes and be forgiven and move on with the lesson. Lately we've both been realizing that our lives are about to change with my graduation from school and Clark's impending transfer to active-duty officer. We both still have so mjuch we want to do, but due to finances or time or slim opportunities or what ever, we keep deciding we can't.

Well, in order to achieve the impossible, you must believe it is possible. That is what Mr. Kingsley says in the beginning of the 2010 Alice in Wonderland. I definitely believe that's true, but I haven't been following it. You have to work for the impossible in order for it to be possible... I just seemed to have forgotten that somewhere along the way. So, Clark and I are both working towards extraordinary goals that we wish to achieve before we take the next steps in the "real world." I can't share what they are just yet, but I promise you'll hear of them as they draw closer to truly happening.

I have learned that everything takes time. I have learned that not all things can be accomplished, but you must have a goal and positive thinking in place or nothing will ever be accomplished. I have learned that I cannot get in my own way of reaching for the stars. I have learned that I must rely on God for all things to be possible. I have learned that I have to put God first in order for all things to happen, or all things that are in His plan to happen. I have learned that I am only human, and there is only so much that I can do to make things work.

Yes, I'm finally learning.

Go believe in the impossible and make it possible.