Regaining Muchness.

It is somewhat customary with people to go through phases of life. I do not mean phases like phases of age or phases with school, but the specific ups and downs that apply only to that unique person. Some go through phases where they need a job they actually enjoy, some go through phases where everything is going their way, some people go through phases where nothing is going there way, and some people just seem to go with the flow and not realize that they are, in fact, going through phases. I've learned that the older you get, the more you are apt to notice the phase you are going through. While I am not someone with many years under my belt. I am someone who has been through many phases for my age... at least I believe that is such.

At the age of 21, I am far too young to being having age crisis-es (which is not a word at all). I am about to celebrate my three year wedding anniversary, I'm about to graduate college, and I am hopefully getting my foot in the door of publishing. I have many thins going for me, but I am suddenly facing the part where I am thrown from the world of academics and in to the real world where it's every person for his/her self. While I got married early and therefore do not have to worry about that, I am starting to question what's ahead of me. But, I suppose we all do that. It's just one of those days that I wish I had an accomplishment or two below my belt so that I would have some cushioning to fall on just in case something was to happen.

Phases in life come and go, but you have yourself and what you believe in to keep you steady and constant in some manner. It is amazing how things change from when you are younger as you get older and older. I cannot imagine what the years ahead of me contain, but I do hope that I can keep my "muchness" as the hatter in Tim Burton's film put it. I never want to lose what keeps me going: my faith, my family, belief in myself, and so on. I never want to lose that "muchness" that defines me. Lately I've felt somewhat lost, as though that muchness is disappearing, but I do hope to regain it within this next year. I'm not sure what I shall do if I don't.