Of all the hopes,

The other day I wrote a blog about a friend I had lost, and then deleted it. It seemed inappropriate since many people may not have known what I was talking about. Also, last summer or maybe it was early fall, I had an old blog that I wrote a nasty post about the same friend because of reasons that were my own. It was wrong, and nasty, and catty, and immature. I owed that friend an apology, and also owed it to myself to try and get in to contact with that said friend. I did so last night, and it was one of the best decisions I've made in the last year.

For those of you who don't know, I was in a sorority from fall of 2008 through summer of 2009. I had to drop due to my financial situation as well as schedule, and it was one of the hardest decisions I had to make. Afterwards I felt like I was disconnected, as though all the girls had decided to cut me from the loop. It was very hard, and very hurtful... but truthfully I didn't try hard enough, either, to keep in to contact with them. Instead I was angry, and just decided that if they didn't want to try, I wasn't going to either.

We all have a lot of growing up to do. Growing up never, ever stops. Everyone is constantly growing and changing, and there's nothing you can do but realize that what's done is done and, as long as you learn from it, there's nothing to do but move forward. That's what I decided to do, and it definitely worked in my favor. Though we've only been e-mailing a little, I know it's going to move forward from where we were when it got cut off. It is as much my fault, if not more so my fault, because of my bitterness. If anyone else in the sorority is reading, I'm sorry. I let my pride and anger get in the way of salvaging some friendships that mattered. I hope others can forgive as easily as Leah did.

I think it's harder to forgive a friend than a foe, but I always try to do whatever I can to save friendships, even if it's a year later instead of a day. We all have faults, but we all learn. This is sounding kind of cheesey, isn't it?

I'm glad this blog has "hope" in the title, because I have a lot of hope right now. Clark is leaving, I'm visiting my family, I hope to visit my older sister, my friend Serena may be visiting, I may visit Will, and I hope this summer I get to reconnect with friends that I didn't try hard enough with in the past year. I am humbled, and very grateful for all that I have to look forward to. God blesses all, and none of us deserve it.

I will thank you, Lord, among all the people. I will sing your praises among the nations. For your unfailing love is as high as the heavens. Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. -- Psalms 57:9-10

Until next time.

We've all got our junk, and my junk is you!