Today has the potential to be a good day. I got up early, as is usual, and got some homework done as well as personal stuff, and then Clark got up and we ate breakfast and talked about this and that for a good hour. We didn't really talk about something, we just talked about everything. It was nice.
Ive become re-motivated with m yschoolwork since I've figured out that there are only 2 weeks, not even, left and I need to make the best of it and do my best on exams. I think I was getting sidetracked by the amazing weather and the fact that school was almot over so why worry. Well, I've thought that out again and realized that this is crunch time. I need to focus and get it over with. I can realx after May 5th.
While at first Clark and I weren't going to go hiking, the weather is too nice to pass up. We're going to do the profile trail which shouldn't take to long, and anyway the sun is up longer now if it does. We've done it before, but it's always nice to do things again and improve your time and things like that. This is also my day 3 without carbs. I have fully gotten in to "get in to shape" mode. I think the fact that the weather is getting nicer and I want to look good this summer took hold of me. I'm so tired of always settling. I want to work hard and get good results, because that's what used to keep me motivated and feeling good. I think I lost sight of that for awhile just because of school and Clark coming home and all that. I know Clark wasn't even gone that long, but I think it was the circumstances in which he was gone. I mean, 13 weeks with no real contact or visits or anything is never easy. I know I need to get prepared for things like deployments and what not, but at least you can have phone calls and things like that with those. I don't know, I'm sure my view of everything is warped as of right now. Anyway, feeling good by not eating carbs, exercising, and working hard with everything that I do is my goal for the spring/summer months.
Yesterday when I was driving to school it dawned on me that I am turning 21. While some of you are older and some of you are younger, it just really hit me that I'm reaching another step of legality. Some people say it's aniclimactic when it gets here, and I'm sure that's true, but it brings other things in to perspective. Like what? Like the fact that Clark and I have been married for almost three years, ike the fact that I only have one year to go before I graduate college, like Clark and I have about a year and a half to go before we start our Marine Corps moving, like the fact that I've known people and kept in touch for 16 years, like the fact that I'm really starting to grow up. I know that supposedly we're legal adults at age 18, but I feel like I'm closer to adulthood now than I ever could have imagined then. Let's face it. When you're 18 you get your first test of adulthood. You go out in to the world either to college or a job and go from there. But, if you're going to college, it's just like a boarding high school, I think. You live away from home, test boundaries, meet people, and start working towards the stage where you're truly out in the "real world" once you graduate. I'm sure many people can disagree with me, but that's how I feel.
When Clark and I were talking this morning, I mentioned how I'm always looking forward to the next best thing... like right now isn't good enough. He said he understood, and told me it's only because we're in a position right now where we can't even live contently. I suppose everything comes back to money, but I think I look forward to our MArine Corps adventures so much because 1) we will be out and about in the "real world" without an establishment like college and 2) Clark will have a "real job" and will be making "real money." I think that's one of the hardest things when you get married young that you have to face. It's no one's fault, it's just that we're at a point where we aren't qualified enough or old enough to some to get a "real job."
Well, it's lunch time and I have to get ready to go on our hike. Don't forget, readers, GLEE IS ON TONIGHT!!! 9:28pm precisely. I don't know if Jonathon Groff (another amazing performer that was in "Spring Awakening") and Idina Menzel (if you don't know who she is, you need to look it up) are on tonight... but they are on the show this season! So exciting. Ok... just mentioning it!
Until next time.
We've all got our junk, and my junk is you!
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